1. sarcasticallyfabulous:

johnnysjetpack:

miso-soup-gyny:

anti-feminism-pro-equality:

What if this had been reverse? What if the girl dumped him and then he smashed all of her CDS or her cellphone and laptop? How would society react? By calling him abusive and controlling.
See, female on male abuse is seen as funny or comical. you see those commercials with the wife throwing the boyfriends stuff out the window. IF the genders were reversed, everyone would see it and call it out for what it really is…abuse.
Abuse is not funny in any way shape or form.
This is why we don’t need feminism.

This mother fucker also owes him a fuckton of money.

thats more than 600$ worth of games!
that’s a fucking felony, theft and destruction of property. call the law on the psycho bitch!

"This is why we don’t need feminism."
Actually, it’s why we DO need feminism. Because feminism isn’t about making women superior and putting men on the bottom. Feminism IS about making everyone equal. The “comedy” behind male abuse is a result of the patriarchy, which is exactly what feminism is trying to destroy. The patriarchy mocks weakness in men, so when men get abused, it’s not taken seriously. It’s a joke, it’s funny, it’s no big deal. “You’re a man, suck it up.”
That’s not what feminists want. If you think that’s what we want, then you you’re not talking to the right feminists. It’s about equality, NOT just reversing the roles, understand?
It’s not okay to abuse women, it’s not okay to abuse men, it’s not okay to abuse ANYONE. That’s the fucking point. The point isn’t “whaa it’s time for women to get to be mean you need to learn your place”. The point is gender inequality is stupid and unhelpful to everyone.
So if you don’t like the way men are treated, don’t hate on feminists. Join them. We don’t like it either.

    sarcasticallyfabulous:

    johnnysjetpack:

    miso-soup-gyny:

    anti-feminism-pro-equality:

    What if this had been reverse? What if the girl dumped him and then he smashed all of her CDS or her cellphone and laptop? How would society react? By calling him abusive and controlling.

    See, female on male abuse is seen as funny or comical. you see those commercials with the wife throwing the boyfriends stuff out the window. IF the genders were reversed, everyone would see it and call it out for what it really is…abuse.

    Abuse is not funny in any way shape or form.

    This is why we don’t need feminism.

    This mother fucker also owes him a fuckton of money.

    thats more than 600$ worth of games!

    that’s a fucking felony, theft and destruction of property. call the law on the psycho bitch!

    "This is why we don’t need feminism."

    Actually, it’s why we DO need feminism. Because feminism isn’t about making women superior and putting men on the bottom. Feminism IS about making everyone equal. The “comedy” behind male abuse is a result of the patriarchy, which is exactly what feminism is trying to destroy. The patriarchy mocks weakness in men, so when men get abused, it’s not taken seriously. It’s a joke, it’s funny, it’s no big deal. “You’re a man, suck it up.”

    That’s not what feminists want. If you think that’s what we want, then you you’re not talking to the right feminists. It’s about equality, NOT just reversing the roles, understand?

    It’s not okay to abuse women, it’s not okay to abuse men, it’s not okay to abuse ANYONE. That’s the fucking point. The point isn’t “whaa it’s time for women to get to be mean you need to learn your place”. The point is gender inequality is stupid and unhelpful to everyone.

    So if you don’t like the way men are treated, don’t hate on feminists. Join them. We don’t like it either.

  2. How the Greatest Female Game Character Reveals the Problems in Female Representation

    by Taylor Morgan

    Quick: Name as many female video game characters as you can. Got them? Okay! Now name as many female video game characters as you can who are the playable protagonists.

    There are only a small handful of female protagonists in video games, and the most visible ones, such as Lara Croft and Samus Aran, are hypersexualized.

    The reasoning for the lack of adequate female representation in gaming has been attributed to the assertion that the culture of gaming itself is predominantly male. But recently, it has become clear the women make up nearly half of the number of all so-called “regular gamers.” Yet with each passing year, more and more titles continue to feature only men. Last year’s Batman: Arkham Asylum, for example, allowed you to play as Catwoman for only about ten percent of the game, and even then, she was dressed head to toe in impractical clothing and was heavily sexualized.

    Thus far, the only studio that seems to really be making strides in terms of female representation in gaming is Bioware. The Canadian company has been responsible for several highly praised RPGs, such as 2003’s Game of the Year Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect. In all three series, the game allows you to choose the sex of your playable character, and the events that follow throughout the games are tailored to fit that choice. Although I am saddened by the fact that there seem to be no games in which wonderful, multi-faceted female protagonists are the default option or the only option, I sincerely applaud Bioware’s efforts to open up the experiences of their series to both sexes.

    Of series mentioned above, I have found Mass Effect to be the most engaging. It is a multi-dimensional science fiction odyssey featuring the exploits of Commander Shepard and her or his fight against the threat of the mysterious, ancient beings known as the Reapers.

    Jennifer Hale, one of the eminent voice actors of this generation, has given life to what I feel is the most well-rounded, engaging, and frankly inspiring characters in video game history. She gives the Female Shepard (FemShep) both the gentle side of a human being and the rough edge of a soldier. Her performance is so engaging that I find it difficult to imagine that the “Default” Shepard is actually male.

    And therein lies the problem. Although FemShep is as equally valid and option as Male Shepard (BroShep), the latter is seen as the so-called “default” option. He is also presented that way by EA Games, which splatters BroShep on all of their marketing. Only with the release of Mass Effect 3 earlier this year did they even create advertisements with FemShep; even then, the box comes with BroShep on the front, with the option of taking the sleeve out of the box and turning it around to feature FemShep.

    Read More

  3. nerdytrolleys:

Tropes vs Women in a Nutshell 
Source 

The first video in the series is actually out so I’d recommend giving that a watch before jumping on the whole lol-sexism-in-videogames-lolol-silly-feminists bandwagon. Granted, the DeviantArt submission was made before the first video in the series was released, but I feel that the same message still applies. 
People often argue against the idea of sexism in videogames by naming the instances where sexism is not present in videogames, either by inclusion of a female protagonist (ex. Tomb Raider), collaboration of male and female characters (ex. Mario Kart), and/or omission of gendered characters entirely (ex. Tetris).
The basic premise of sexism in videogames is that female characters in games are often (often, not always) sexualized, objectified, and/or reduced to a static representation of their gender. But it’s not a black-and-white issue.
(1) Sexualization
While it’s true that women are often sexualized in video games (skimpy outfits, “perfect” bodies, tits and ass), I believe it is worth mentioning that men are sexualized in a similar manner to some extent. Male protagnists are often sculpted and muscular with rugged good looks and square jaws. (Or pretty boy “bishie” looks, depending on the target audience.) It’s the idealized version of the “perfect” male specimen.
Additionally, it’s not uncommon for male characters to be dressed in a way to accentuate these physical features (ex. skintight bodysuits, vests or armless tops, etc.). So women and men are both portrayed as their physical ideal in videogames.
But how often are men objectified?
(2) Objectification
I feel it’s important to acknowledge that the physical sexualization happens on both sides of the gender, but an important question to ask yourself is where does it stop? For men, their characters may be sexualized and/or idealized to reflect the “perfect” male, but these characters usually go on to display depth of development (ex. personality, intelligence, courage, etc.)
On the other hand, countless female characters in videogames are present merely as sexualized objects. The hot sidekick or the hot villainess or the hot damsel. (Anita Sarkeesian talks in depth about the “damsel in distress” in her first video. I admit I was not a supporter of Anita Sarkeesian at first because my idea of her was that-one-person-who-took-a-bunch-of-peoples-money-to-do-a-video-series-about-lol-sexism-in-videogames-and-didn’t-deliver-and-oh-god-she’s-going-to-be-so-one-sided-about-the-issue-and-further-alienate-people-who-believe-that-straw-feminism-is-representative-of-all-feminism. Her POV is obviously biased toward the feminist message, but overall I think she does a pretty good job of it.)
"But wait! What about all the strong female characters in videogames? You can’t just ignore them!"
This is also true. There are examples of strong female characters in videogames: Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, Samus Aran in Metroid, Zelda/Sheik in The Legend of Zelda, Chell in Portal, various characters from the Final Fantasy series (ex. Lightning, Aerith, Yuna, Yuffie, Rikku, Tifa, etc.) I’m sure you can name more.
But here’s where the issues start, when you take a closer look under the first layer of “See, I can name strong female characters! Sexism in videogames, what a joke!”
Yes, you can name strong female characters. You can even name a couple female leads. That has to mean something, right?
But how many strong male characters can you name? How many male leads?
I find it upsetting when people try to argue against sexism in videogames by naming strong female characters or identifying female presence in games. Sexism isn’t a black-and-white picture. Feminists aren’t arguing that females don’t have any role in video games or that strong female characters don’t exist. But the fact that these female characters are more an exception to the rule is a point of concern, as is their limited representation when compared to male counterparts.
For me, that’s a lot of what issues like sexism and racism amount to: representation. It’s the idea of “privilege”, which is a perfectly valid idea, although it’s become more of a joke these days (check your privilege cis scum). Because like it or not, in Western society there is often a divide between groups in terms of gender (and gender identity), race, sexual orientation, economic status, and “ability”.
The “default” representation is white, male (cis), heterosexual, upper/middle-class, hearing, seeing, “able”-bodied. That’s who we see as the protagonist(s) in our movies, our TV shows, our books. That’s the target audience. These groups do enjoy benefits in society, whether you want to admit it or not. (The same way attractive people enjoy benefits in society. You don’t want it to be true because it’s not fair, it’s not right, and it invalidates your characteristics and traits outside of physical appearance. But it’s true.)
But really, that’s a discussion for another time.

    nerdytrolleys:

    Tropes vs Women in a Nutshell 

    Source 

    The first video in the series is actually out so I’d recommend giving that a watch before jumping on the whole lol-sexism-in-videogames-lolol-silly-feminists bandwagon. Granted, the DeviantArt submission was made before the first video in the series was released, but I feel that the same message still applies. 

    People often argue against the idea of sexism in videogames by naming the instances where sexism is not present in videogames, either by inclusion of a female protagonist (ex. Tomb Raider), collaboration of male and female characters (ex. Mario Kart), and/or omission of gendered characters entirely (ex. Tetris).

    The basic premise of sexism in videogames is that female characters in games are often (often, not always) sexualized, objectified, and/or reduced to a static representation of their gender. But it’s not a black-and-white issue.

    (1) Sexualization

    While it’s true that women are often sexualized in video games (skimpy outfits, “perfect” bodies, tits and ass), I believe it is worth mentioning that men are sexualized in a similar manner to some extent. Male protagnists are often sculpted and muscular with rugged good looks and square jaws. (Or pretty boy “bishie” looks, depending on the target audience.) It’s the idealized version of the “perfect” male specimen.

    Additionally, it’s not uncommon for male characters to be dressed in a way to accentuate these physical features (ex. skintight bodysuits, vests or armless tops, etc.). So women and men are both portrayed as their physical ideal in videogames.

    But how often are men objectified?

    (2) Objectification

    I feel it’s important to acknowledge that the physical sexualization happens on both sides of the gender, but an important question to ask yourself is where does it stop? For men, their characters may be sexualized and/or idealized to reflect the “perfect” male, but these characters usually go on to display depth of development (ex. personality, intelligence, courage, etc.)

    On the other hand, countless female characters in videogames are present merely as sexualized objects. The hot sidekick or the hot villainess or the hot damsel. (Anita Sarkeesian talks in depth about the “damsel in distress” in her first video. I admit I was not a supporter of Anita Sarkeesian at first because my idea of her was that-one-person-who-took-a-bunch-of-peoples-money-to-do-a-video-series-about-lol-sexism-in-videogames-and-didn’t-deliver-and-oh-god-she’s-going-to-be-so-one-sided-about-the-issue-and-further-alienate-people-who-believe-that-straw-feminism-is-representative-of-all-feminism. Her POV is obviously biased toward the feminist message, but overall I think she does a pretty good job of it.)

    "But wait! What about all the strong female characters in videogames? You can’t just ignore them!"

    This is also true. There are examples of strong female characters in videogames: Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, Samus Aran in Metroid, Zelda/Sheik in The Legend of Zelda, Chell in Portal, various characters from the Final Fantasy series (ex. Lightning, Aerith, Yuna, Yuffie, Rikku, Tifa, etc.) I’m sure you can name more.

    But here’s where the issues start, when you take a closer look under the first layer of “See, I can name strong female characters! Sexism in videogames, what a joke!”

    Yes, you can name strong female characters. You can even name a couple female leads. That has to mean something, right?

    But how many strong male characters can you name? How many male leads?

    I find it upsetting when people try to argue against sexism in videogames by naming strong female characters or identifying female presence in games. Sexism isn’t a black-and-white picture. Feminists aren’t arguing that females don’t have any role in video games or that strong female characters don’t exist. But the fact that these female characters are more an exception to the rule is a point of concern, as is their limited representation when compared to male counterparts.

    For me, that’s a lot of what issues like sexism and racism amount to: representation. It’s the idea of “privilege”, which is a perfectly valid idea, although it’s become more of a joke these days (check your privilege cis scum). Because like it or not, in Western society there is often a divide between groups in terms of gender (and gender identity), race, sexual orientation, economic status, and “ability”.

    The “default” representation is white, male (cis), heterosexual, upper/middle-class, hearing, seeing, “able”-bodied. That’s who we see as the protagonist(s) in our movies, our TV shows, our books. That’s the target audience. These groups do enjoy benefits in society, whether you want to admit it or not. (The same way attractive people enjoy benefits in society. You don’t want it to be true because it’s not fair, it’s not right, and it invalidates your characteristics and traits outside of physical appearance. But it’s true.)

    But really, that’s a discussion for another time.

  4. It’s strange how language courses are taught.

    Ask any AP Spanish student how to say “I’m sorry” and you’ll probably hear “Lo siento”, right? I’m surprised I never thought about it before, but I was curious about deconstructing the phrase since it was in the “It-conjugated verb” format.

    (“Lo = it” “Sentir = to feel”)

    Use "lo siento" to express deeper remorse or ask for forgiveness. Lo siento, which literally means “I feel it,” is the phrase that most novice Spanish speakers will learn as the all-purpose apology. In reality, lo siento should be used only in fairly serious situations, where depth of emotion is important. Saying "lo siento" after accidentally bumping into someone, for example, is a bit too excessive.

    • You can also say "lo siento mucho" or "lo siento muchísimo," meaning “I’m so sorry” or “I’m very sorry.” Another variation with the same meaning is "cuánto lo siento." ( how sorry I am)
    • This apology is appropriate for serious situations such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or a firing or layoff.

    How to Apologize in Spanish

    Apparently, it’s an expression of deep remorse, and here they’re teaching it like “sorry” or “my bad”

    I understand there are limitations to teaching a language, especially in a condensed amount of time, but sometimes I don’t even see how it works. Maybe it’s all structured to work out in the grander scheme of things? (Language major, immersion study, etc.) but honestly I feel that the “required” amount of language study I did hardly prepared me for any reasonable discourse in the language.

    I mean…I can ask you where the bathroom is or tell you that I like your blue pencil sharpener, but what good is that in everyday conversation?

  5. Choose your words carefully

    coletureconcept:

    Definitions of words should only be considered universal if the definition itself submits towards the reflexive adaptivity of the individual human experience. 

    In other words, don’t think the meanings you apply to words is identical to the meanings of the audiences receiving them.  

  6. I dreamed I was a roadrunner.

    Let me preface this by saying that I know most people do not like to hear about dreams. From the outsider’s perspective, I understand that hearing about someone else’s dream secondhand makes everything seems sort of…jumbled, disjointed, etc. It’s just not the same experience as the dreamer’s, for obvious reasons, and I get that. But rarely do I remember my dreams, and sometimes when I do it’s not so much as a dreamer but moreso as both a particpant and a third person POV watching the entire scene(s) unfold.

    Anyway, it’s pretty long and you don’t really have to read it.

    tl;dr I meet up with Ceyren in NY, we end up escaping into the desert, I turn into a roadrunner, my nest/home has been converted into a natural stable/farm, there is a singing butterfly.

    Read More

  7. Expectations and reality are two different things. Now post something positive...

    It’s precisely the dichotomy between expectations and reality that I take issue with. Because if we hold people to a higher standard of expectation(s), arguably the reality would in time come to reflect that.

  8. It’s pretty sad that social justice on tumblr seems more like a fad or cult following than a legitimate body of issues, and actually I really dislike the phrase “social justice” for this reason but if you call it something like

    "equal regard for every individual free from generalizations and/or discrimination regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, and disability"

    it sounds pretty dumb because isn’t that what we should already expect from people?

  9. uthenera:

    eeeel:

    uthenera:

    someone on subeta just said that being trans was silly and no one would be trans/need to ~alter their body~ if they would just learn to ~transcend their gender roles/social constructs~ like they did

    puke 

    Actually, this one confuses me a bit because I have a whole lot of questions about what it means to identify as a trans person (I am not aware of all the PC vocabulary so I apologize in advance and ask that you correct me) and especially a lot of questions about the motivation and/or mindset behind a transition. In part, I’m afraid to ask about it because I know I’m really ignorant on the subject and I don’t know a lot of the “basics”, but also I just haven’t met and/or talked with that many trans people on the subject.

    I tried reading about gender identity versus gender expression, but it’s still really confusing to me because apparently gender identity is a really difficult concept to pin down and especially a difficult concept to explain to someone who doesn’t “get it”. People try to explain it in subtractive ways (“This is what gender identity is NOT”) and that just…I guess it doesn’t really help?

    Read More

    I understand that it’s really difficult to see past gender roles and how they influence everything we do in life, right down to who our sense of self. i’m not a really good debater, nor particularly articulate, so my reply isn’t going to be quite as thought out as yours, but i’ll try to respond as clearly as i can!

    i explained this on the thread in question: gender is biologically predetermined just as sex is. one can be born male and have a female brain, and visa versa. it’s not even so much as ‘identity’, though I’m not disqualifying the strength and importance of identity; you are wired biologically to be male or female. sometimes your body doesn’t match up. i’m not quite sure how this works with non-binary individuals; i’m guessing something gets jumbled in the brain and there’s that feeling of not fitting one or the other. unfortunately there hasn’t been any research done on this that i know of, unlike on binary trans brains, so i can’t say for sure. 

    anyway! this is all what causes gender dysphoria. you have a male brain, but a female body, or a female brain, but a male body, and you know that your body is wrong. your body feels alien to you. it causes you agony that you don’t have the body of every other boy/girl/man/woman you know. 

    gender expression/etc. can definitely be a part of the whole process; i’m sure every trans person goes through a time in their life where they wonder if they’re just a masculine girl or a feminine boy, etc. but when it comes down to it, you are just a man or a woman in the wrong body.  

    you said this is what you think when you feel you should be a boy:

    “I want to be a boy because I want to be brave and strong and charming” or

    “I want to be a boy because I want to be valued first for my talents and/or personality (and not for my appearance)” or

    “I want to be a boy because girls are devalued in society”

    this to me is not being transgender; this to me is struggling with the gender roles being forced upon you by society and the misogynistic expectations of what a ‘real’ woman is. you do not feel male, you don’t have a male brain (i’m assuming here, i apologize if i’m going too far!); you just don’t want to be shoehorned into a certain role, and i don’t blame you.

    i think there are a lot of people, especially women, that feel that way. i’ve often thought of that myself: “maybe it’s not gender dysphoria, maybe i just don’t want to be ‘that’ woman, the one everyone wants me to be.” in my case, yes, it’s gender dysphoria; i know my body isn’t right, i know i shouldn’t have breasts, and i know i should have different genitals. but that’s not the case for everyone who feels that way, and i don’t think that’s the case for you.

    there are transwomen that are traditionally ‘masculine’; they like cars, they like sports, they don’t like to wear makeup. they are still women, because they have a female brain. there are transmen that are ‘feminine’; they like fashion, they like ‘girly’ things, but they are still men, because they have a male brain. gender roles and gender are closely intertwined, but you don’t have to express yourself as a traditional man or woman in order to be one. shit, you can completely ignore your gender if you want, and if you have the ability to do so. in the end your sense of self is just that, yours; it might take a really long time to discover who you are, but that’s for you and you only to decide.

    i hope this made sense, even a little, and cleared some things up!

    A) You assume correctly in that I don’t “feel male” or “have a male brain.” I don’t think I’ve actually ever had feelings of wanting to be male without the context of gender roles, which is why I have a hard time understanding it from another POV.

    B) Yes, thank you! I’m really glad to have this response from you.

  10. uthenera:

    someone on subeta just said that being trans was silly and no one would be trans/need to ~alter their body~ if they would just learn to ~transcend their gender roles/social constructs~ like they did

    puke 

    Actually, this one confuses me a bit because I have a whole lot of questions about what it means to identify as a trans person (I am not aware of all the PC vocabulary so I apologize in advance and ask that you correct me) and especially a lot of questions about the motivation and/or mindset behind a transition. In part, I’m afraid to ask about it because I know I’m really ignorant on the subject and I don’t know a lot of the “basics”, but also I just haven’t met and/or talked with that many trans people on the subject.

    I tried reading about gender identity versus gender expression, but it’s still really confusing to me because apparently gender identity is a really difficult concept to pin down and especially a difficult concept to explain to someone who doesn’t “get it”. People try to explain it in subtractive ways (“This is what gender identity is NOT”) and that just…I guess it doesn’t really help?

    Read More

  11. regarding the animalstalkinginallcaps posts i reblogged.

    1 | 2 | 3

    I’m not entirely sure how I feel about posting these because on the one hand, the commentary could be seen as making light of real issues. But I guess I have always felt that even if you do care about an issue, there is still room to step back and have a laugh at it sometimes. 

    That still sounds wrong. I guess what it is…is that in those examples, the extremes of an issue are being portrayed, used as more of a caricature than a balanced representation. Or maybe it’s that I feel like it’s pointing out that some people can get carried away, and the distinctions between two camps can become so divided that it almost feels like a new breed of discrimination arises from the intent to fight discrimination in the first place.

    Unfortunately, sometimes this new discrimination (against discrimination!) gives people the opportunity to disregard the original issue under the pretense of mutual discrimination.

    kelseyum:

    because extremists can’t always change minds. in fact, you might say that seeing the most extreme view is a deterrent to considering the ideas in the first place.

  12. How to Know When a Woman is Mad

    half-cocked:

    businessofmisery-:

    -original post truncated, see reply below-


    these ladies are my idols 

    Oh god I have so many feministic complaints about this post I don’t even know where to start.

    First off, can we like, not glorify violence, property damage, and public humiliation? These are not okay ways to act, no matter what someone has done. I mean, I don’t wanna go all “think of the children” but there are young teenagers on tumblr, do we really want to tell them this is the rational response to…like, literally anything? “Before He Cheats” and “Bust Your Windows” are good songs, but in real life, they get you arrested.

    Secondly, lol, a man would NOT get away with ANY of this oh my god he’d be labeled a scumbag abuser so fast everyone’s head in the world would spin and they wouldn’t know why. The reason is because “everyone knows” that women can’t control their emotions. “Everyone knows” women can’t be a threat to men because women are weaker than men. Even if, say, that woman has a weapon, or attacks his possessions. Yes, your possessions shouldn’t define you, but in most of the things destroyed in these pictures, that guy has invested a lot of money in having this nice thing.

    If a woman invested a lot of money in something and a man destroyed it, it would be terrible, but when a woman does it it’s “awesome” and “what he deserves.” This image of women as weak and, by default, not a threat to anyone, is nothing but damaging to everyone — to people who experience abuse from women, and to women as a whole because if she’s too weak to be a threat, well, obviously she’s too weak to be elected to an office, or be assertive in the board room.

    Side-eying the fuck out of this post, basically.

  13. Think twice about becoming vegan

    In today’s trendy artsy world, more and more young people are becoming vegan every single day. The reason most of these people become vegan is for the protection and welfare of animals. They encourage vegan meals, no meat, cheese, dairy, eggs etc. What most vegans do not realise is that there is a dirty underworld to the growing and manufacturing of this disgusting world trade that is kept well hidden from society.

    Above is a picture taken in Indonesia of a carrot being prepared and slaughtered. The carrots are first skinned, then drowned, and can be eaten raw or are cooked in boiling water.

    Also above is a disturbing picture of potatoes being ripped from their home. The preparation is the same as the carrots.

    Bananas grow together in a herd. When they ripen, they are stolen from their family, and whilst they are still alive their skin is peeled back and their entire body is usually in eaten in about 6 bites.

  14. "How dare you call out Daniel Tosh. This is AMERICA, where rape jokes are free speech but condemning them is censorship by humorless bitches."
    Miss O’Kistic ‏@missokistic 
  15. When Rape Jokes Are Never Funny by Meghan O’Keefe

    When I was an obnoxious and self-centered tween, I complained to my mother about how a schoolmate was dealing with the death of her pet.

    "She’s been crying and whining and being mean to everyone, and it’s so stupid! When my dad died I didn’t even cry — and he was my dad! She lost a dog and she’s crying? It’s so stupid!"

    My mother, in her attempt to teach me empathy while staying empathetic to my completely selfish point of view, offered this, “Well, you know, everyone deals with loss in a different way. I knew a girl in Nursing School who laughed when she was upset. My roommate’s mother had died and when she told us, this girl immediately started laughing hysterically. My roommate stormed out and as soon as she was gone, the other girl stopped laughing and said, ‘Oh, I’m so, so sorry. I can’t help myself. Whenever sometime terrible happens, I just laugh.’”

    This story did two things for me. It made me realize that the way I process grief is not the way other people process it, so I should never judge someone in the grieving process. More importantly, it made me realize that laughter is a powerful tool against fear, despair and agony. What my mother’s college friend did unintentionally — it was a nervous tic that helped her psychologically cope — I wanted to learn how to do intentionally. I wanted to laugh at pain.

    So, when I see people say certain subjects should never be joked about, I understand that laughing might not be how they want to deal with those topics, but it helps me and many other people cope with them. I love using satire to show how stupid people who are racist or sexist are. I love writing sarcastic offensive jokes to dispatch wordplay or irony. I adore making fun of Nazis and the Holocaust, because to actually think about what happened during that time period is so horrifying you need to make fun of Hitler sometimes to diffuse the pain.

    So why did the recent Daniel Tosh “rape joke” story upset me — and so many other people — so much?

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*except not really...because overfishing :(